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January 04, 2008

Slow To Speak, Slow to Get Angry, Slow to Send E-mail

by Shana Schutte

In this day and age, information is swapped between people faster than ever. With a click of a mouse, you can send an e-mail to someone halfway around the world and hear back from them in minutes. With instant messaging, web cams and voice recorders, who needs the post office?

While it's often a great advantage to correspond with others so quickly, it can also create relational problems. Let me explain.

In the old days before almost-instant e-mail, I would walk across the street to my mailbox and discover a letter. If I found the letter unfavorable or offensive, (whether it truly was or not), I wouldn't be able to respond in seconds or give a knee-jerk reaction. Instead, I'd probably have to wait for the mailman to come. In between receiving the note and replying, some time would pass and I would be forced to consider and re-consider my response.

Today it's another story. If I receive an e-mail that I don't like, I can quickly respond in an unkind and insensitive way with the click of a mouse if I don't practice self-control.

Why am I telling you all this? Because lately I've received some knee-jerk responses from people. They didn't wait to think about what they were saying before they sent the e-mail. They didn't consider how their words might sting. Nope. With a click, they just let me know what they thought without considering how their sharp words might hurt my heart. After all, there isn't a real person on the other side of the computer, right?

Thankfully, God is teaching me to act like it will "take a while for the mailman to come." He's showing me it's beneficial to practice restraint before responding. I'm learning to sit on my thoughts before they come flying out of my mind onto the keyboard. And I'm learning that when someone displays contention (which most of us do at one time or another), that there is no use in wrangling with that person. It's better to wait, keep my mouth shut, and give my hurt feelings over to God. And perhaps when I'm more calm, I can respond at a later time in truth--and love.

If you've received an e-mail lately that's lit a fire of frustration, anger or offense in your spirit, I encourage you to do what James 1:19 says and "be slow to speak, slow to become angry,"--and might I add, slow to send e-mail.

"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love."

(Psalm 145:8)

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