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March 24, 2008

From From the Power of Rejection

by Shana Schutte

Last week I met with a friend over a cup of my favorite tea. Halfway through our discussion about fulfilling your purpose, he asked, "Do you know that 1 out of 10 people won't like you?" Thankfully, his inquiry didn't send me into depression like it would have fifteen years ago.

A people pleaser, peacemaker and idealist from childhood, I used to go overboard on being nice. So naturally, when someone didn't accept me, I wondered why. I'm a good person, I'd think, Why don't they like me?

Unfortunately, because I swallowed the lie that love could be earned, it was naturally (and always) my fault that I didn't get the love I wanted. Still, I thought that if I just tried harder, I could earn the approval of others. It wasn't until my late twenties that God showed me that I even tried to earn love and avoid others' anger by showering them with gifts and compliments. And, as you can imagine, I was often exhausted and discouraged. Why? Because just like my friend said, there was at least 1 out of 10 people who didn't accept me.

Finally, I realized that rejection was inevitable and that it's OK.

God taught me that if I embraced the certainty of rejection, then it would lose the power to cause me to hate myself. Praise God! What others think of us does not have to define us. Instead, we can be defined by Christ's unconditional love. When we accept that not everyone will not like or love us the way we want, no matter what we do, we can be ourselves, and love ourselves, too. Accepting the reality of rejection helps us to stop being an victim and instead be a victor!

"Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings from the wicked who assail me, from my mortal enemies who surround me." (Psalm 17:8)

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