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October 9, 2007

Telling Ourselves the Truth

by Shana Schutte

Many years ago, God caught me in a lie. I wasn't lying to my mother, sister, neighbor or best friend--but to myself. In retrospect, I know He wanted me to tell myself the truth about a situation in my life, but I refused. Why? Because I was afraid. I knew that if I admitted the truth, that meant I'd have to make some major life changes--and the thought terrified me. I wasn't sure He would take care of me; so instead, I justified what was happening and made excuses. Lying to ourselves often provides a place to hide from our fears--at least for a while.

The comfort I gained by denying truth its place in my heart only lasted a short time--and then it caught up with me. I experienced depression, stomachaches, headaches and anxiety. I don't believe God was punishing me for not heeding His warning to face my fears. Rather, I believe He wanted something different for my life than what I was experiencing; and I couldn't be at peace until I aligned my life with His plan. That meant facing my fears by telling myself the truth. As soon as I did that, my physical ailments disappeared. On this side of my problem, I wonder why I was terrified, because God was faithful. I am so grateful He did not allow me to live a lie.

I once spoke with a Christian counselor who said she believes inner conflict can cause depression. While I am no expert in the counseling field, I agree. This is exactly what I experienced. When we exchange the truth for a lie, the result can be internal warfare.

Perhaps something is happening in your life that is difficult to face. Maybe you're in a relationship you know God doesn't want for you; but you also know that if you face the truth, you have to face your greatest fears of abandonment. Perhaps God wants you to change careers, but you feel you can't do it because the thought of failure paralyzes you. Whatever the reason that you've shoved down His truth and plans for you, rest assured that God wants to give you peace that comes from giving in to His way. He also wants you to know that He will never ask you to go where His grace will not cover you.

"If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea." Isaiah 48:18 (NIV)

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