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October 16, 2007

Gratitude and Good-bye

by Shana Schutte

My life, probably like yours, has been punctuated with good-byes. Maybe you've said good-bye to friends or loved ones when you've changed jobs, moved away, or just when an unwanted conflict created a rift between you and someone special.

Saying good-bye can usher in grief and coming to peace with our good-byes can take time. We know we have moved from the pain and despair of good-bye to acceptance and hope when we experience gratitude. When we're not grateful for the good that was given to us from God in our past relationship, we can be certain there is still inner healing that needs to be done—a sign that we may be trapped past emotional pain.

Which is what happened to me.

It took me years after one particular good-bye to thank God for my relationship and the lessons it provided so I could open my hands to the future in hope. Until then, I didn't have the capacity for gratitude because I was drowning in a sea of unbelief about God's love and goodness. I was slow to let go of my past relationship because I doubted that God could give me anything greater. I was trapped in "Goodbye Grief" far too long.

When our desire to embrace the future overshadows our desire to hold onto the past, we know we can say good-bye with grace. When we believe that God can fill our hands with mutual love with others again, we know we have grieved well and that we are trusting God. When we can thank God for the part others have played in our lives, we can be confident we have become a better person for having experienced their presence.

When I am grieved about saying goodbye, I think about Jesus. He is the one friend I will never have to say good-bye to. He's loved me since before my first breath, and will love me until my last. When God's love takes you in, it never lets you go.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

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