102907

October 29, 2007

Have You Ever Felt Like an Orphan?

by Shana Schutte

Two years ago I packed my luggage with anticipation and suspected it would be exciting ministering to Kenyan orphans with Buckner Orphan Care International. My suspicions proved correct. Just like a toddler, I experienced many firsts: my first safari, my first flight across the African desert in an airplane the size of a Cracker Jack box, my first time to eat ostrich, and the first time I ever wanted to bring a little girl home whose parents had died, probably from AIDS.

Before the trip, one of my friends prayed, "God, please help Shana to connect with just one child." God answered with a bubbly, six-year-old named Edith whose smile could light up the darkest African night. She didn't need to speak English, and I didn't need to speak Swahili. We spoke with our eyes and our hands and through laughter--which translated into the language of love.

During our last day together, our ministry team prepared to say goodbye to Africa, the orphanage staff and the children. As the kids loaded their belongings onto the bus, I noticed little Edith carrying two, approximately five-pound packs, one on her back and another on her front. She trudged along while grunting under the weight. I ran to catch her. "Edith! Edith! Let me help!" I expected her to immediately drop her load with the sound of my voice and wait for assistance. Instead, she looked at me, smiled, but kept walking, determined to make it to the bus without collapsing. I was shocked. You would never see an American kid in the U.S. doing that. I reached down for a backpack, but she still insisted on carrying it alone. So this is what orphans learn, 'No one is going to take care of me, so I will just have to take care of it myself.' My heart broke.

Isn't that often the cry of a wounded woman or man who feel abandoned by God? God, I prayed. I asked for Your help, but You haven't come through. If you aren't going to take care of me, I guess I have to take care of myself.

Have you ever felt like Edith? Have you tried to carry the weight of life all alone because you believed the lie that God was somehow unfaithful? Have you ever felt like an orphan?

In the New International Version, Jesus says in John 14:18, "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." In the King James Version, the word for orphans is translated as the word comfortless. When you believe there is no comfort for your weary heart, God wants to remind you that you are not alone--in spite of how you may feel.

"Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand." Psalm 73:23 (NIV)

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